Taneka Blair
Neka The Dev

Neka The Dev

How To Ask For Help, When You Don't Like To

Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

How To Ask For Help, When You Don't Like To

Taneka Blair's photo
Taneka Blair
·May 12, 2022·

2 min read

Is this you? You are always the one everyone else goes to when they need help? Have you always been regarded as the strong one in your family? You rarely crack under pressure? If that is you and you don't like to ask for help or don't even know how, let me help you out. I know, I know, you don't really need me, but seeing that I am one of you, I would like to dispel some myths and give you some really great advice.

One, humble yourself first. That doesn't mean you have to be a narcissistic person to humble oneself, but we all need to do it. None of us is immune to this, sometimes we start thinking we can do it all without the help of community, family, etc... We all need assistance sometimes, and we cannot go through life alone, such it is with our programming journey. Stop being so resistant, and humble yourself.

Two, remove your offensiveness. What does that have to do with anything? Everything. We see our life through the lenses of what we have gone through. If someone says something to us, even without any guile and we sense that meant something else, watch out. Sometimes, there really isn't anything to the way someone said something, or how they looked at the time. We must stop being so quick to jump down someone's throat and be more approachable.

Three, stop comparing yourself to everyone else. We are all unique and individual, we are not going to make the same choices, nor do we all like the same things. That would be incredibly boring. How you do something will not be exactly the same as someone else. That's okay! Embrace that, there is nothing wrong with it. You won't be as perfect as Mrs. Smith down the street, so let go of that dream. But Mrs. Smith, won't be able to fix the bug in that pesky block of code either. You are you, and you cannot be replaced.

Four, getting help is a good thing. This shows you that you don't know everything, and gives you parameters to know your limitations. Knowing your limitations is healthy and shows you where your gaps in knowledge is. Lean on someone else's knowledge and expertise, you might just learn something!

So, asking for help means you need to humble yourself, remove any offensive tendencies, stop comparing yourself and learn what your limitations are. And in the end, this helps you be a better coworker, fellow learner and overall great person to be around.

 
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